TRUST

Friday evening.  It is quiet—finally.  It is boy’s movie night.  I live in a house full of men.  They have left me alone with my thoughts.  I adore my boys probably more than they can imagine.  But on nights like this I miss my daughter terribly.  In my mind she would have been my ally in this male world, much like I was for my mother in her house filled with men.  But I am left to trust that my little girl is in a better Place.  And that is where this story begins--and ends--with trust.

Several months ago I was made aware that I am surrounded by a community of friends that will help support me until the day that I am reunited with my littlest one.  This most special community of women support and bolster one another during this journey through life.  Our view of the world is taken from a unique perspective.  Together we are brave and strong.  Together is the way Christ intended us to journey.

It was made clear to me that I would travel with this pack under a special name to be given to me at a prescribed time.  I am not good at waiting.  In fact I am decidedly un-good at it.  I knew right away that ‘Patience’ would not be my moniker—despite knowing our Lord to have a tremendous sense of humor.  I worked very hard at not thinking of possible names for myself.  I knew that it had to be a gift and that I couldn’t generate it on my own.  Then early one morning as I was thinking about not thinking up a name for myself, the Lord put “you must trust” on my heart.  Trust.  At that very instant I knew that Trust was the name I would bear.  Despite the fact that I found Trust to be only slightly less ironic that Patience for me, I know that Trust was mine. 

I now see the world through the lens of Trust.  When doubt, fear, unhappiness or anger penetrates my heart, I immediately hear “trust”.  I am learning to trust—to rely on trust, to rest in trust.  I am also learning to depend on my community—a group filled with mercy, peace, hope, endurance, harmony, grace and many others.  I am learning to be trust for them.

Life this side of Heaven is a challenge.  Traveling in a caravan, surrounded by the Holy Spirit and surrendering myself to Trust helps me to meet that challenge head-on.

I know that it is time to let go of the reins and let Trust lead me Home.

Fear not, for there are many more ‘real camel rider’ stories to be inspired and encouraged by…let your fingers travel to our blog.

MERCY

Alaina

Before hearing about Genesis 24 and the camels, I began to pray that I could get to know God better. In deepening my relationship with Him, I also hoped that I would get to know myself better, since I was feeling a little lost. In order to better understand where I'm coming from, let me back up to the year before. At that time, I had prayed for a new direction in my walk with God, and instead of a spiritual change, I ended up with a life change. He showed me all the reasons why my current major was wrong and guided me to Nursing. I know without the slightest doubt that starting Nursing school is exactly where God wants me to be, but I was struggling with my purpose.

I was finishing up my last semester before transferring in the fall, and I was starting to wonder why God had kept me here. I knew there was a purpose to His plan; I just didn't know what it was. I started to pray that I would know Him more so that I could better show Him and His love to others. I prayed to Him to change me because I finally realized that the only way to grow is to change. For about a month, I prayed all those things and felt like I didn't hear anything from God.

Then, one Thursday at Bible study, Julie told us about the camels, and everything I'd been feeling for the past month seemed to fall into place. My first reaction was that it was going to take me weeks to figure out what the name of my camel was because I'm the kind of person who thinks things to death, resurrects them, and then over-thinks them some more. Almost immediately, the word mercy popped into my head. My first thought was, "No way. That was way too quick, and I don't even really know what mercy means." 

Directly after Bible study, I was telling my best friend about my devotion from the night before. It was about finding your identity in Christ, which, as you know, was something I was searching for. I whipped out my Bible and read to her 1 Peter 2:10: "Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God's people. Once you received no mercy, now you have received God's mercy." I proceeded to plow onto whatever point I was trying to make when my best friend (who later found out she was Grace) stopped me and asked me to read the verse again. I did, and that time it hit me...the verse talking about identity said, "mercy" twice! I mean you can't get much clearer than that! After that, there was no doubt in my mind that I was riding on Mercy. 

Before I had even heard about my camel, before I'd even prayed to help find my identity in Christ, God had already answered my prayer within that verse. He had answered my prayer before I'd even prayed it! I realized that I no longer had to wonder what I was doing here or feel overwhelmed by trying to be an example to others of all the ways Christ loves us. It's so freeing to know that I'm riding on Mercy and that by focusing on that, Christ can work through me.

KEVIN

Annie walks in her God-given identity of gentle, lovable, kindness, or Kevin, as she calls it.

I'm Annie's mom, and I am riding on Purpose. The reality of the simplicity of this journey is overwhelming to me. Annie hasn't been in on any camel conversations or Bible studies concerning the camel journey. Annie also knows what she is saying, and yet her communication skills are a challenge to everyone around her. 

Yet, when I asked her after she had walked up and taken my hand and kissed it, "Are you riding a camel?" Annie answered, "Yes, I am." 
I asked, "Do you know its name?" 
"Yes. It's Kevin." 

When I looked up Kevin in my name book, it described Annie perfectly. Lovable, gentle, kindness.

Annie has Down Syndrome; I have never met a more secure, genuine, loving, accepting person in my life. I get the privilege of seeing God work through her in amazing ways, just because she knows who she is. She walks in it with authority. It's like breathing to her. 

Annie doesn't question her identity. She knows she's beautiful and complete. She knows who she is riding with, and there is nothing missing. When she needs Confidence, Patience, Mercy, Timing, Grace, Endurance, Joy, Hope, Refuge, Freedom, Forgiveness, Peace, and Trust, they are right beside her. She uses Key all the time to open opportunities to show God's hidden treasure of love. She brings it with her. She knows she is highly favored and rides how He sees her. You cannot deter her when she is on a mission because she is riding with Passion. God gets all the glory because Annie walks in a childlike state of simple faith, believing who she is. Who God says she is is His Bride. When the end of her life comes on this earth, she will lift off of Kevin (lovable, gentle, kindness) into the arms of her bridegroom, and she will hear, "Well done, thy good and faithful servant." 

BEAUTY

Leah

I said, "I will," to God four years ago. I was riding on a camel along with my sisters for some time before even realizing it was there, let alone what its name was. After realizing that I was indeed riding on this camel and questioning its name, I spent some time one afternoon praying to God. I was having a bad day, feeling the weight of all my insecurities. I was telling God how ugly I felt, both inside and out. Suddenly in the middle of my prayer, I felt God saying to me, "Leah, what are you saying? You are riding on Beauty." At first I thought, "No way, that is not my camel. Can that even be a camel?!" But I realized I was looking at beauty all wrong. I was created by God, saved by God, and am loved by God. Of course there is beauty in me when all those things are true. 

My sense of beauty has changed since then. I'm still learning what beauty is, and probably always will be. But I have found a lot of truth about beauty in this passage:

Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

"I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has placed eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." 

CONFIDENCE

Molly

The first time I heard about the camels was through my friend and accountability partner, Amanda (Refuge!). As soon as she explained it to me, I knew my camel's name, but I didn't say anything because I decided to pray about it just to make sure that my initial hunch was right. Over the next few days, I prayed to God and told Him that I thought my camel's name was Confidence. I asked Him to tell me if this was right or wrong. When I had prayed about it a few times, I only felt more strongly that Confidence was my camel's name.

I am riding on Confidence for two reasons. First of all, I had a lot of doubts when I first became a Christian, but over time, through prayer and scripture, I was able to gain confidence in my faith. Secondly, I was a very shy child, and I would not speak to anyone but the closest of relatives (that even excludes grandparents!). Over time, I began to gain confidence and began speaking more. My grandma later told me that she had been praying for me the whole time. During late high school and now during college, confidence is very necessary because I lead others to Christ when I am confident and bold in Him. Sometimes I am still shy, but I know that speaking up with people I know and introducing myself to people I don't know is important to spreading the gospel. 

I am riding on Confidence! 

We Don't Live Well Without You

FEARLESSNESS

When I was a junior in high school, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. Fear was in control of nearly all my thoughts. The worst part of having anxiety disorder for me was the fact that everything I did seemed to reflect the fact that I had anxiety, so I just try to push it out of my mind; pretend it doesn't exist. For a while now I haven't really known what to do about it--accept the fact that I have it or hope and pray it's something God can just fix in me. Through my camel name God was telling me, "Erin, you don't have to worry about what to do, you're mine, and my fearless love will carry you home."