ACHIEVEMENT

"But I haven't done anything!"  I was pulling my husband, Paul, into a conversation about the merit of my life, again.  I valued staying at home with our children.  I treasured my role as the wife of a man in ministry.  I also knew how much I could do outside of the home to remain spiritually, emotionally, and physically balanced.  It wasn't much.  Every time we had the "my life is a failure" conversation my sweet, earnest husband would lovingly state his case.  But since I was the one who put myself on trial I got to be the judge and jury, too.  I was convinced that my education, giftings, and calling had been squelched.  By the time my children left home I would be too old, too tired, and too rusty to put any of it to use.  A life sentence, to be sure.  

With each additional blessing of a child (we have five) I mellowed.  I resolved to serve wherever I could, however I could, and leave the rest in God's hands.  It took years of digging for me to unearth contentment, but get this.  I am now riding on acheivement.  I know acheivements are a source of pride just like full bellies and belongings.  Those aren't the kind of acheivements I am riding on.  I am riding on the fact that whatever God had for me to do in the past was completed.  Whatever God has for me to do in the future will be accomplished as well.  I am not on trial.  No, I am a free woman and free women run into the arms of God to then be released...released to acheive His plans His way.  Now that's doing something!

FOLLOW

Feast of St. Martin I

April 13, 2012

It was the first week of November at one of our little group meetings when Julies first shared her journey of studying wells in the Bible, and her thoughts about how riding on a camel helps us to have a bigger, broader perspective on our paths of life. Reflecting on this and the question she asked me, "What view I would like to behold while seated on my camel," I did my visual "thing." I made up a poster of views that the three of us in our group would probably like to see from our camels. Of course I had to include camels in the poster. So I did an image search for camels. I put this all together on a little poster with Julie's question, "So what's the view from your camel?" in the center. Then at the bottom I felt whimsical and added, "What is your camel's name?". I thought that was silly, so I deleted it. But I was compelled to hit the undo button to cancel my deletion. And there it was. A few days later I brought copies of the poster to the two other women at our next group meeting. 

Fast forward, I now was hearing about women finding the names of their camels. Of course in this little, blessed band of sisters, I came to realize that I was standing between Grace and Trust (Not a bad place to be standing--from many perspectives, I might add!), but I had NO idea what my camel's name was. Time went on, and I mean months; I still had no idea. That felt a little odd. Maybe I just wasn't on this caravan--sigh. 

Well, Lent came with all of its wonderful invitations of drawing closer to our Lord, invitations to remove the wearisome layers that weigh us down. I felt challenged to focus on listening to the Lord. As the weeks progressed I saw that oftentimes I am so busy with my own ideas and agenda that I am not being attentive like I should be. I was struck through a reading with a simple truth. I am a servant, meaning that I am to be right beside the Master. I had always thought of the idea of Christ's servant as those he sent out to do something. I had never contemplated that many servants are right there to do his small, ordinary biddings. (Guess I was always thinking of the grandiose excursions the apostles were sent on.) Here was the idea that a servant might be asked simply to be close, quiet and attentive, so that all He has to do is whisper or even nod in her direction, and she would know that He wants her to pick up the rag He is glancing at, or pass Him the cup of water. He does not want a servant that He has to keep raising His voice to get her attention in order to direct her to what He wants done! That scenario would be disruptive to His own work. I rested in this new revelation, trying to be quieter within myself making it possible for me to better hear His simple requests. 

Then at a choir practice, when a discussion was developed about our Lenten journeys, I mentioned I was trying to work on listening. An older friend said, "You know, listening is the essential ingredient for obedience." It really is very simple. As Mary instructed the servants at the Wedding in Cana, "Do whatever he tells you to do," I am to be quiet, patient, attentive and simply obedient. I don't have to ask why or second-guess the purpose of the request. I am the servant; I am just to do. 

More Lenten reflections came. In prayer, I asked the Lord to help me truly be His obedient servant who comes to know His ways and desires so that He only has to glace at what He wants done, and I will know. I saw that to grow to be that servant, I must be following Him very closely, staying right at His side, not wandering off with my own thoughts and agendas! In that moment--four months after writing the question on the camel poster-- I knew that my camel's name is Follow. Funny thing, the next day was the first time anyone asked me what my camel's name was. I guess I am a little slower than most. 

As I earnestly try to endeavor to learn to be the quiet little servant, I am quickly coming to the realization that our Master usually doesn't go to the pleasant places. After all, He came to heal the wounded. Oh, but what a privilege it is to be anywhere, as long as we are in the Master's presence. 

While journeying on Follow, I am seeing that sometimes we even stop at wells, so that the Master can transform others like the Samaritan woman. As the servants, we are graced to see Him loving the broken with truth, purity and mercy. Who knows where the next stop will be with the caravan. It really isn't my concern. I just have a simple job: follow, listen and happily do. 

In a sermon once, Blessed John Henry Newman said, "He does not show you whither He is leading you; you might be frightened did you see the whole prospect at once...follow His plan; look not on anxiously" because the One we follow "is supremely blessed, because He is supremely holy." -Parachial and Plain Sermons, Ignatius Press 1997

From on servant to others--blessings,

Sharon

REFUGE

Amanda

I started going to a Bible study the beginning of my freshman year at Ohio University in Athens. This was led by a woman named Julie, and she started out with the chapter Genesis 24. My whole first semester we talked about wells, like the one in Genesis. We talked about how Rebekah watered all of Abraham's servants' camels and how she went back to Abraham's land to marry his son, Issac. Then the next semester, we continued to refer back to this chapter and talked more about how faithful Rebekah was. We talked about how she just got up and left without knowing what would happen. the good thing about it was that she didn't have to go alone. 

That's how it is for us. We are riding to our bridegroom, or Jesus, and we don't have to do it alone. As Julie (Grace) was teaching us this, she and her friends came upon something interesting. We as women are riding along next to each other, encouraging one another and riding on this journey where we don't know what is going to happen next. Julie's friend made a poster based off this concept that we aren't riding alone. The poster asked, "What is the view from your camel?", and then it asked, "What is your camel's name?". Then Julie told us all the amazing stories about how people prayed and found what their camel name is. This was supposed to be something that you have experienced the most or have always tried to find, but never realized you were riding on it. 

As I was going home one weekend, I was telling my boyfriend about this story. I had been praying about what my name was. I am a person who over-thinks all the time. I had been trying to think in my head what it was, but nothing really popped out at me. I decided to be patient, and when I was telling my boyfriend about this story, we went past a sign. I have always asked for a physical sign from God. It has been something I have kind of been waiting for, but I always doubted it would happen. I was not sure if this was really my camel name, so I put it aside in my head. Later, I then looked up what the word meant and realized it was what I needed for so long. I needed a safe place. I needed Refuge. I have off-and-on struggled with spurts of sobbing and what I would call depression. I just cry and cry, and it gets to the point sometimes where I just want anything to fix it. I knew Jesus could fix it, but I did not really know how he would fix it, or when. But finally God showed me a physical sign of what I needed. I really needed refuge. 

The next day I was doubting that this was it. I was thinking maybe it was just thrown up in my head and that it wasn't really my camel name. I went to church that morning, and a man up front was reading a verse of Psalms. I told God, "Okay. If this word is in this piece of scripture, You have truly told me my camel name." Literally a few seconds after I prayed that, the man said, "refuge." I could not even believe it. God showed me a sign, and He put it in a verse to me. God has never directly talked to me like that before. Then to top it off, it was in one of the songs we sang. I think God was waiting for the moment to show me my first sign, and with a word that now means so much in my life. I do not have to struggle anymore with crying fits and sadness, because I am riding on Refuge to Jesus who will wipe my tears away.

Psalm 36:5-7

We Reflect God's Image

GRACE

Chelsea

My name is Grace. I have known it to be Truth, Audacious, Fearless, and I have known it also to accompany its various counterparts: Ashamed, Fearful, Broken, and worst of all, Lies. Thankfully, God's grace is abundant and real. My story begins with an engagement to be married to my one true love and one true best friend. Followed by this engagement was the instruction of the Lord to be like Abraham and to follow Him into a foreign land that we would not know until we arrived there. We proceeded with plans, and I proceeded on to a journey through God's Word that would lead me to my kindred, Rebekah. Rebekah was a fearless woman who rode toward her own groom audaciously and with truth in her heart. And so are we.

I was told that sometimes being a Christian makes people feel they have to stick to their guns and stand firm and fearless in what they believe. Little did I know that while I stood truthfully and boldly by my God, I did so with little grace in my words and actions. God has shown me that to have truth and fearlessness and audacity, I must provide those through His grace. Through this journey, I have had to ask the Lord to search my heart and take me places that perhaps didn't appeal to me to have to go, but it has shown me to ride on Grace and let the Lord guide my words and my actions through it. Now I no longer have to carry shame, walk broken, listen to lies or be fearful. Today and every day, God's Grace is made perfect in my weakness.

TRUST

Friday evening.  It is quiet—finally.  It is boy’s movie night.  I live in a house full of men.  They have left me alone with my thoughts.  I adore my boys probably more than they can imagine.  But on nights like this I miss my daughter terribly.  In my mind she would have been my ally in this male world, much like I was for my mother in her house filled with men.  But I am left to trust that my little girl is in a better Place.  And that is where this story begins--and ends--with trust.

Several months ago I was made aware that I am surrounded by a community of friends that will help support me until the day that I am reunited with my littlest one.  This most special community of women support and bolster one another during this journey through life.  Our view of the world is taken from a unique perspective.  Together we are brave and strong.  Together is the way Christ intended us to journey.

It was made clear to me that I would travel with this pack under a special name to be given to me at a prescribed time.  I am not good at waiting.  In fact I am decidedly un-good at it.  I knew right away that ‘Patience’ would not be my moniker—despite knowing our Lord to have a tremendous sense of humor.  I worked very hard at not thinking of possible names for myself.  I knew that it had to be a gift and that I couldn’t generate it on my own.  Then early one morning as I was thinking about not thinking up a name for myself, the Lord put “you must trust” on my heart.  Trust.  At that very instant I knew that Trust was the name I would bear.  Despite the fact that I found Trust to be only slightly less ironic that Patience for me, I know that Trust was mine. 

I now see the world through the lens of Trust.  When doubt, fear, unhappiness or anger penetrates my heart, I immediately hear “trust”.  I am learning to trust—to rely on trust, to rest in trust.  I am also learning to depend on my community—a group filled with mercy, peace, hope, endurance, harmony, grace and many others.  I am learning to be trust for them.

Life this side of Heaven is a challenge.  Traveling in a caravan, surrounded by the Holy Spirit and surrendering myself to Trust helps me to meet that challenge head-on.

I know that it is time to let go of the reins and let Trust lead me Home.

Fear not, for there are many more ‘real camel rider’ stories to be inspired and encouraged by…let your fingers travel to our blog.

MERCY

Alaina

Before hearing about Genesis 24 and the camels, I began to pray that I could get to know God better. In deepening my relationship with Him, I also hoped that I would get to know myself better, since I was feeling a little lost. In order to better understand where I'm coming from, let me back up to the year before. At that time, I had prayed for a new direction in my walk with God, and instead of a spiritual change, I ended up with a life change. He showed me all the reasons why my current major was wrong and guided me to Nursing. I know without the slightest doubt that starting Nursing school is exactly where God wants me to be, but I was struggling with my purpose.

I was finishing up my last semester before transferring in the fall, and I was starting to wonder why God had kept me here. I knew there was a purpose to His plan; I just didn't know what it was. I started to pray that I would know Him more so that I could better show Him and His love to others. I prayed to Him to change me because I finally realized that the only way to grow is to change. For about a month, I prayed all those things and felt like I didn't hear anything from God.

Then, one Thursday at Bible study, Julie told us about the camels, and everything I'd been feeling for the past month seemed to fall into place. My first reaction was that it was going to take me weeks to figure out what the name of my camel was because I'm the kind of person who thinks things to death, resurrects them, and then over-thinks them some more. Almost immediately, the word mercy popped into my head. My first thought was, "No way. That was way too quick, and I don't even really know what mercy means." 

Directly after Bible study, I was telling my best friend about my devotion from the night before. It was about finding your identity in Christ, which, as you know, was something I was searching for. I whipped out my Bible and read to her 1 Peter 2:10: "Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God's people. Once you received no mercy, now you have received God's mercy." I proceeded to plow onto whatever point I was trying to make when my best friend (who later found out she was Grace) stopped me and asked me to read the verse again. I did, and that time it hit me...the verse talking about identity said, "mercy" twice! I mean you can't get much clearer than that! After that, there was no doubt in my mind that I was riding on Mercy. 

Before I had even heard about my camel, before I'd even prayed to help find my identity in Christ, God had already answered my prayer within that verse. He had answered my prayer before I'd even prayed it! I realized that I no longer had to wonder what I was doing here or feel overwhelmed by trying to be an example to others of all the ways Christ loves us. It's so freeing to know that I'm riding on Mercy and that by focusing on that, Christ can work through me.

KEVIN

Annie walks in her God-given identity of gentle, lovable, kindness, or Kevin, as she calls it.

I'm Annie's mom, and I am riding on Purpose. The reality of the simplicity of this journey is overwhelming to me. Annie hasn't been in on any camel conversations or Bible studies concerning the camel journey. Annie also knows what she is saying, and yet her communication skills are a challenge to everyone around her. 

Yet, when I asked her after she had walked up and taken my hand and kissed it, "Are you riding a camel?" Annie answered, "Yes, I am." 
I asked, "Do you know its name?" 
"Yes. It's Kevin." 

When I looked up Kevin in my name book, it described Annie perfectly. Lovable, gentle, kindness.

Annie has Down Syndrome; I have never met a more secure, genuine, loving, accepting person in my life. I get the privilege of seeing God work through her in amazing ways, just because she knows who she is. She walks in it with authority. It's like breathing to her. 

Annie doesn't question her identity. She knows she's beautiful and complete. She knows who she is riding with, and there is nothing missing. When she needs Confidence, Patience, Mercy, Timing, Grace, Endurance, Joy, Hope, Refuge, Freedom, Forgiveness, Peace, and Trust, they are right beside her. She uses Key all the time to open opportunities to show God's hidden treasure of love. She brings it with her. She knows she is highly favored and rides how He sees her. You cannot deter her when she is on a mission because she is riding with Passion. God gets all the glory because Annie walks in a childlike state of simple faith, believing who she is. Who God says she is is His Bride. When the end of her life comes on this earth, she will lift off of Kevin (lovable, gentle, kindness) into the arms of her bridegroom, and she will hear, "Well done, thy good and faithful servant." 

BEAUTY

Leah

I said, "I will," to God four years ago. I was riding on a camel along with my sisters for some time before even realizing it was there, let alone what its name was. After realizing that I was indeed riding on this camel and questioning its name, I spent some time one afternoon praying to God. I was having a bad day, feeling the weight of all my insecurities. I was telling God how ugly I felt, both inside and out. Suddenly in the middle of my prayer, I felt God saying to me, "Leah, what are you saying? You are riding on Beauty." At first I thought, "No way, that is not my camel. Can that even be a camel?!" But I realized I was looking at beauty all wrong. I was created by God, saved by God, and am loved by God. Of course there is beauty in me when all those things are true. 

My sense of beauty has changed since then. I'm still learning what beauty is, and probably always will be. But I have found a lot of truth about beauty in this passage:

Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

"I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has placed eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." 

CONFIDENCE

Molly

The first time I heard about the camels was through my friend and accountability partner, Amanda (Refuge!). As soon as she explained it to me, I knew my camel's name, but I didn't say anything because I decided to pray about it just to make sure that my initial hunch was right. Over the next few days, I prayed to God and told Him that I thought my camel's name was Confidence. I asked Him to tell me if this was right or wrong. When I had prayed about it a few times, I only felt more strongly that Confidence was my camel's name.

I am riding on Confidence for two reasons. First of all, I had a lot of doubts when I first became a Christian, but over time, through prayer and scripture, I was able to gain confidence in my faith. Secondly, I was a very shy child, and I would not speak to anyone but the closest of relatives (that even excludes grandparents!). Over time, I began to gain confidence and began speaking more. My grandma later told me that she had been praying for me the whole time. During late high school and now during college, confidence is very necessary because I lead others to Christ when I am confident and bold in Him. Sometimes I am still shy, but I know that speaking up with people I know and introducing myself to people I don't know is important to spreading the gospel. 

I am riding on Confidence! 

We Don't Live Well Without You

FEARLESSNESS

When I was a junior in high school, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. Fear was in control of nearly all my thoughts. The worst part of having anxiety disorder for me was the fact that everything I did seemed to reflect the fact that I had anxiety, so I just try to push it out of my mind; pretend it doesn't exist. For a while now I haven't really known what to do about it--accept the fact that I have it or hope and pray it's something God can just fix in me. Through my camel name God was telling me, "Erin, you don't have to worry about what to do, you're mine, and my fearless love will carry you home." 

We are Better Together

PURPOSE

Hi, I’m Sherrie and I’m riding on Purpose with Grace (Julie).  The power of saying ‘I will’ has completely changed how I view my life.  It took me awhile to know that I was riding on.  I have been a Christian for over 30 years, my husband, Steve and I have raised 5 beautiful children. I’ve also home schooled, gone to church, taught Sunday school, been an intercessor, been on prayer teams and have preached a few sermons on a Sunday morning.  But for as long as I can remember I have had this nagging voice in my heart.  What are you doing?  Why are you here? Are you doing enough are you doing too much.  People would talk about their calling; I didn’t have one, no set goal.  I felt like I was drifting and random.  I always felt I was in Plan B.  I kind of let life happen to me and it did.

But the day I said ‘I will’ and climbed up on my camel and started riding hands free was the day all of that changed.  For weeks I waited to know my camel’s name.  I woke up to these words one morning ‘Ride on Purpose’. From that moment on my life made sense.  

Everything I do and have done is on Purpose.  There is no plan B.  I am in plan A where there is nothing missing, nothing broken and nothing lost.  Knowing my purpose is the very thing that was stolen from me.  Purpose is what I have always been riding on.  It will take me to my Bridegroom.  I choose to stay on Purpose.  The freedom, provision, confidence, hope and joy that came with knowing what was carrying me all this time was incredible.  I believe Him now.  Everything I do, every conversation I have, every prayer I breathe is on Purpose, His Purpose.  I never have to question again.  My ‘yes’ gave the Lord permission to search the inner most parts of my mind and heart and hold the reins.  I am in a seated position, being led by the Holy Spirit.  He takes me back around old circumstances just to show me what it looks like from a new height from His perspective.  He has surrounded me with traveling companions and brings them alongside as we need each other.  I don’t live will without them.

There nothing the same about my life except my circumstances.  My inner response, my outer response changes daily as He show me His miraculous transformation in me and in others as He adds to the church daily.  I am no longer asking where I fit.  I’m actually in His perfect will and called to ride hands free on Purpose for His Glory.  2 Tim 1:9

GRACE

Hi, I’m Julie.  In the fall, Sherrie and I and the girls’ college Bible study began studying this story in Genesis 24.  It took weeks, then months of reading, praying and asking the Spirit to grant us understanding before we came to the conclusion that GOD was telling us, “If you say ‘I will’ and sit still and trust me, I will bless you and show you amazing things!”

2012 was one of those years that tried to wear us out.  We tearfully buried my husband’s sister after a 13 year battle with cancer.  Our family prayed through the deployment of our son and daughter-in-law to Iraq and Afghanistan, while our other four children were in the process of moving out and finding their way in this great big adult world. Next was my diagnosis of breast cancer and the surgeries and recovery that would follow.  While we tried to maneuver the speed bumps and potholes, GOD continued to show us His amazing grace.  It became obvious that He had enlisted my husband, children, family members, friends and voracious prayer warriors to be grace-givers.

When the idea of riding back in time with Rebekah and her bridesmaids was presented, we jumped on it.  We pictured ourselves on the backs of our camels high and lifted up, hands waving in the air, giving the Spirit complete control of the reins.  The thought of naming our camels was challenging for some but for me it was obvious.  GOD had showed me His character of grace at every turn and now He would ask me to show grace to others.  I will spend the rest of my life’s journey filtering everything I do and say and think through Grace, and Grace will lead me home.  Amazing!

Traveling Together

Welcome to the HERD!

You heard right, but have you heard, "We're better together" or "We don't live well without you"?

Our invitation for you to join the camel caravan comes from Genesis 24:60, "And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, 'Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands.'" Can you picture yourself somewhere in the middle of those sisters? Well, you're about to.

Here are some camel train, camel name questions:

1) What is the significance of the camel?
Great question. The camel represents the vehicle for transporting and transforming us back to the Father.

2) What is the significance of our camel's name? 
Good question. By asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us the name of our camel, we are declaring our new identity in Christ and with Christ. 

3) What do we do on the camel?
Ahhhhh... We sit and rest, watch and pray, and take in the view that God has put in our path.

4) Do I do this alone?
I was hoping you'd ask this... Thank Heavens, NO! We were created to be in a family. This is a team sport, and everyone in the body has been designed by the Divine for a purpose. We are an expression of God's love -- He intentionally breathed into us a part of Himself, so that when the world sees us they say, "You really resemble your Father." When we receive His name, it gives our name meaning. I AM.... (fill in the blank: Hope, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Acceptance, Fearless).

So let me ask you: 

Are you ready to ride?
Can you picture yourself high and lifted up? What if you decided to let the weight of the world fall to the ground, and instead sat and pondered and celebrated the wonder?

You will be seated in the middle of a train of sojourners also making this trek. Don't miss a minute of the trip. Like Rebekah, pour the living water (your precious gift, your name that reflects our awesome God) into all those you meet, and let them pour into you their gifts as they pass by or travel for miles with you.

Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime? That's how long this trip is going to take. When you are ready, surrender the reins to the Spirit; after all, He's the only one who knows the way Home. See ya in camel traffic!